god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
