New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
