fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
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