I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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