how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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