Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
