Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
