I cockslap morals
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
