Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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