Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
