the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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