Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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