Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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