I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
