Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so let's talk penis.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize