I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize