I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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