So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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