i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Your penis caused this!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
