He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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