yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.