Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.