where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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