covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
