Why are handjobs necessary in class?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
