He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
