garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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