It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i now understand why vodka
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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