used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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