Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
