In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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