are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize