if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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