nut hugger
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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