hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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