do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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