By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
