..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
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I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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