Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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