his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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