Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
