I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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