I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
