We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
