he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
