So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
sex in a hospital.. check
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
