Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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