How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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