the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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