she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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