as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
