Can Purell be used as lube?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
