Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
