We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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