I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize