I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
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Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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