ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
