Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Someone shit on the floor
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
