I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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