I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
