My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
