Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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