Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
