PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
