Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
